Sweeping eggshells still at 3 a.m.
We're trying far too hard
The tattered thought balloons above our heads
Sinking in the weight of all we need to say
Why's and what if's have since long played out
Left us short on happy endings

And it's no one's fault
There's no black and white
Only you and me
On this endless night
And as the hours run away
With another life
Oh, darling can't you see
It's now or never
It's now or never

~ Now or Never, Josh Groban

I said something about the past and it has unleashed an ominous storm.

Not doing too great.

When it rains it pours

Two in less than 24 hours? Yeah right. I can hardly keep my own life together, now I have to consider keeping someone else's together too?

Not cool.


Ok, well, actually it is rather cool. I'm flattered and all that other stuff, but at the same time? Yeah. I don't think I'm in a good place to be having a relationship right now. Let alone trying to pick one over the other.

Or, is my problem that I am being to picky and should get over the concept of holding out for "Mr. Perfect".

Telepathic? Not me.

Ever had this happen to you?

Someone asks you about something and you're not quite sure what he or she is getting at? You look perplexed, "Excuse me, what are you talking about?"

After a few minutes of vague and elusive answers you still aren't sure what the point is. You ask, "What is going on? I'm not sure what you are getting at. Can you explain it to me?" He or she does. Well, sort of. The "explanation" is hardly an explanation at all. In fact, it's more of an accusation.

By now you're not only getting annoyed, but you're also feeling a little blindsided. To make matters worse, you still aren't sure exactly what the purpose of the conversation is. What is going on? Instead of loosing your temper you ask for clarification. Again.

And, once again, the response is vague. But not only is the response vague but it is also pointed enough for you to know that this person is upset about something and that something has to do with you.

What is that something? How is that something related to you? You're still not sure. You're frustrated. You play the 'blunt' card. "I don't understand. Tell me, what am I supposed to know? What do you mean?"

The response?

"You're a smart girl. Figure it out."


For the record, I hate that answer. Not despise. Hate.


Yes, I am a smart girl.

But you?

You. Have the courage to tell me what is upsetting you so much. And, if you don't have the courage? Why are we having this conversation in the first place? Why do you have the audacity to assume I'll know what is upsetting you?

If you're upset with me, be blunt. Enough of this cryptic behaviour. Be a man (or a woman) and just say it. And if you can't say it (because you're scared or whatever else), then take a moment and think. Should you really be opening your mouth in the first place?

By being vague, you're not helping the situation. You're getting more upset with me for 'not being smart enough to know what's bothering you' and I'm getting more upset with you for not telling me straight up. Great. Wouldn't it just have been easier to tell me exactly what the problem is?

You may be shocked to discover that although I have a few guesses on what is bothering you, I'm not sure which one of those guesses is correct. Do you really want me to guess? (No, no you don't. My guesses aren't 'nice' ones.)

I was asking for the truth, just tell it to me. And if it is something uncomfortable like "You're being a bitch", it'll be good for you to get it off your chest. And, it'll be good for me to know I'm bothering you. Yes, I might ask you questions like "What specifically about my behaviour is bothering you?", but how am I supposed to change if I don't know?

You really don't feel comfortable telling me? Fine. But, do not - do not - expect me to know what you are thinking. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

I was given flowers today. Nothing too glamorous and yet nothing to ordinary. A few lilies, Gerber daises, and some funky purple flowers. It was the perfect way to end a stressful work week.

(I'll try and remember to post a picture next week).