My parents are planning a trip to Europe in a few weeks. I am jealous. REALLY jealous.

Why do I work? Why do I have courses?

I have my passport, I should just go. Three weeks in Europe? Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Das Beste

Ich habe einen Schatz gefunden
Und er trägt deinen Namen
So wunderschön und wertvoll,
Von keinem Geld der Welt zu bezahlen

Du schläfst neben mir ein,
Ich könnt' dich die ganze Nacht betrachten
Seh'n wie du schläfst, hör'n wie du atmest,
Bis wir am morgen erwachen

Du hast es wieder einmal geschafft,
Mir den Atem zu rauben
Wenn du neben mir liegst,
Dann kann ich es kaum glauben,
Dass jemand wie ich, sowas Schönes wie dich, verdient hat



Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
Es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Vergess' den Rest der Welt,
Wenn du bei mir bist
Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
Es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Ich sag's dir viel zu selten,
Es ist schön, dass es dich gibt



Dein Lachen macht süchtig,
Fast so als wär' es nicht von dieser Erde
Auch wenn deine Nähe Gift wär',
Ich würd bei dir sein,
Solange bis ich sterbe

Dein Verlassen würde Welten zerstör'n,
Doch daran will ich nicht denken
Viel zu schön ist es mit dir,
Wenn wir uns gegenseitig Liebe schenken

Betank mich mit Kraft
Nimm mir Zweifel von den Augen
Erzähl' mir 1.000 Lügen, ich würd' sie dir alle glauben
Doch ein Zweifel bleibt,
Dass ich, jemand wie dich, verdient hab'



Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
Es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Vergess' den Rest der Welt,
Wenn du bei mir bist
Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
Es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Ich sag's dir viel zu selten, Silbermond
Es ist schön, dass es dich gibt'


Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
Es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Ich sag's dir viel zu selten,
Es ist schön, dass es dich gibt'

Ich sag's dir viel zu selten, es ist schön, dass es dich gibt

~ Silbermond, Das Beste

Scientia potentia est

Sometimes I don't think I can do this. The whole letting go of things, letting down my guard. Telling you things? That's rather intimidating - make that very intimidating.

Part of me earns for the open road, a suitcase and a spicy perfume. That part of me wants to leave. Just leave. Leave the past, the turmoil, the arguments, leave it all behind. Re-build my walls.

At the same time, there is another part of me that doesn't want to. There is a part of me that doesn't want to let this go. That part of me is ok with staying. More than just being ok with staying, that part of me wants to stay. Even if that means telling you things. Even if that means being hurt.

My plans for the evening...

I'm hanging out with M's sister and this guy. Should be great :)

The better part of one's life consists of one's friendships
Abraham Lincoln

I heartily agree. Many of my favourite memories were made with friends:

- playing Beauty Parlour and scarring our cousins as we emerged from the room "beautiful" aka. surrounded in clouds of cheap perfume (the more the better) with streaks of pink blush on our cheeks and and red dollar store lipstick on our teeth
- sneaking to 7/11 on our recess breaks and buying bags of five cents candies (Cinnamon Hot Lips and gummi frogs....mmm)
- running through backalleys and across the streets to escape from the bad guys (Nazis, thugs, parents, slave traders)
- spending the afternoon at the library reading Babysitter and Saddle Club books
- meeting every week for coffee at our special hangout and each time trying to sit in the same threadbare chairs (they're still there)
- getting up early to go running down streets that we had named after Calvin Klein perfumes (Eternity, Obsession, Contradiction)
- meeting in TD Square and going for lunch in Devonian gardens
- driving down Memorial looking at the city lights and talking about boys, music and the future
- sitting in art class passing notes and joking about Manet, complaining about Gauguin and learning to appreciate Picasso
- grabbing a room in Comms and pulling all day (or until we got bored) study marathons
- discussing the merits of Captain Morgan
- surviving a volleyball class where the ball (or was it the teammates?) seemed to be attacking us
- making a pact to go cliff jumping together and then both having the courage to go do it
- ringing in the New Year with Lucky Duck champagne and movies
- dancing like the night would never end
- releasing the creative side and bonding over paint, stencils and ceramics
- soaking up the sun while strolling along the Danube and praying and talking about life
- meeting at the Glenbow and exploring the Renior exhibit
- taking a break from assignments to watch the wedding planner and then leaving school at three in the morning
- pulling a 21 hour day on only four hours of sleep with copious amounts of Red Bull and loud music
- texting at all hours of the day (and night) with updates on our lives
- marching into class together with French Vanilla and English Toffee cappuccinos


Thank you for being in my life.

It's been a busy week and this coming week is going to be just as crazy - if not more so.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about things. Part of me is excited to see everything that is going on and happening. Another part of me is worried, anxious even. That part of me wonders if I should be taking a break. Leaving things and just getting away for a bit. (But, right about then the other part of me pipes up: "Isn't that running away? You don't run away from conflict. You run into it so you can resolve it sooner.") *sigh*

He used the 'L' word this evening. Ok, not in the way you're probably thinking, but he used it nonetheless.


"I love your smile."


Funny how something so small can make me so happy.

Volksgarten ~ April 24, 2007



Somedays I feel like my heart is going to break. I miss living in Vienna. The sites, the sounds, the language. As much as I complain about 'Wienerisch' slang, I miss it. At least I have thousands of memories and pictures. And, an amazing guy who is willing to go there with me for a visit sometime.

The grape vine

Yes, it's true. Rumours have started swirling. It was only a matter of time I guess. My girlfriend called me today to fill me in on the latest...


Apparently I am engaged.


Not only that, I apparently drove to Red Deer yesterday to inform my parents I was getting married in September.



Yeah. Next thing I know I'll apparently be pregnant and and moving to Malaysia.

So. In the interest of public information and keeping up with everyone else's business, let me clarify the situation. (Although, let me state that this technically isn't your business. But, as with everything else on my blog, I'm "sharing" this information with you.)

Yes, I am seeing someone. Yes, we are past the "just friends" stage. However, we are not (need me to repeat that?), we are not, N-O-T, engaged, betrothed, living together, or secretly married and as such we are not separated, divorced, taking a break or seeing other individuals. Is that clear?

Secondly, the whole Red Deer story. Where do I start? My parents to do not live in Red Deer. They do however, know my current relationship status. And, they also know that I would not be so presumptuous as to inform them who I am planning on marrying and when. Come on, what do you take me for?

That out of the way, you might like to know that yes, I did go to Red Deer, and yes, he did come with me. We did not go to meet parents or scout out possible elopement getaways (Red Deer? Come on, if I were to elope, Red Deer is not the place to do it!). We went to hang out with my favourite (and absolute best cousin in the world) and her fiancee as well as visit my aunt and uncle with their cute little girl and wannabe-Panther cat. Yes, we had a marvelous time.


Now you know the latest rumours about me and the facts behind them. I almost feel as if I should apologize that they weren't more glamorous. Maybe next time someone could start a rumour about me having a house in French Polynesia or owning five pairs of Manolo Blahniks.



P.S. Special shout out to C who was brave enough to face my indignation and let me know what was circulating. Thanks girl! You're one in a million. It's great to know that I've got you to watch my back.

Philippians 4:6-7

Yesterday was an intense day. As I was getting ready to head off to bed, my Mom reminded me of these verses.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.