I turned it down...

Well. yesterday and so far this morning have been hard.

As some of you may know, yesterday I thought I'd found (or actually my friend found for me) the perfect apartment. Perfect area of town, balcony, my own private room, close to my friend, very close to the underground, quick access to school and tourist attractions and about a block away from Vienna's equivalent to Uptown 17th. Yeah. a perfect place.

So, why did I turn it down? Well, there's one little detail I haven't mentioned yet. That detail has turned out to be a rather major detail. Actually, it has turned out the be the "deal-breaking" detail. I'd be sharing the apartment with a guy. Yes, you read correctly. A guy - as in a male.

After numerous talks (and yes, sometimes they were more like arguments) I've turned the place down. I won't get into all the details, but it really is too bad. The gentleman himself is a friend of a friend and really does sound like a nice decent person. At this point, his character is not in fault - it's the fact that he is male. Sound sexist? Yes, I'll be the first to admit it. Am I thrilled with the current situation? Absolutely not.

Here is my friend in Vienna, going out of her way to try and find me an apartment. She does, but I have to turn it down. Not because it's in a bad area of the city, or because I can't afford it, or because I can't live with smokers; no I had to turn it down because of the sex of the person I'd be sharing it with. Yeah. I'm not very pleased with myself.

Let's step back for a moment. Let us for a moment say that I had accepted this apartment...
So I'm living in a fantastic part of Vienna, have my own bedroom, watch the sun rise over the rooftops while standing on the balcony, am close to a friend, take the underground all over the city, zip back and forth between school and downtown throughout the day, oh and yes, very important, go window shopping at places I can't even afford to walk into. So there I am. All these great features and I happen to be sharing an apartment with a guy. What would you think?

Are you even paying attention or are you still stuck four paragraphs up where I first revealed that my flatmate would be a guy?

What do you think? Frankly, does it matter what you think? Do I live my life according to what you might think about my actions?

My mother mentioned something last night that stopped me dead in my tracks. She's convinced that there are people out there in our social circle who would refuse to associate with me if I lived in this apartment. Yes, you read correctly. People who would absolutely refuse to associate with me (and potentially then my parents and my little siblings) because of some living arrangements. Wow. I honestly don't know how to respond to that.

This is one of the reasons I absolutely hate PR. I can't just go and do something anymore. Through all my classes I've learned and seen first hand the effects that rash behaviour can have. I now think about my actions and how they might influence my life later and the lives of others around me. Technically that is a good thing. But sometimes, sometimes it sure is frustrating. This is one of those times.