Ten days to go...

This morning I woke up with start. The past few days I've been waking up slowly but not today. I think I was probably startled to realize that I only have ten days before I leave.
So far my day has been quite productive. I'm almost packed (yes, I've been almost packed for the past week but now I'm even closer). I actually thought I was finished already until I walked into my bathroom and realized I'd forgotten my toiletries and my running shoes. Yeah. Not good items to forget. As of an hour ago those things are safely in my suitcase.
Now I think I'm just missing a pair of dress pants (have to go pick them up from the tailor), three gifts for family, my dress shirts (the last one is being washed, the others are already folded on my bed) and a rain jacket. Who knows, I might end up buying that in Vienna.
This trip I'm really striving to keep my belongings to a minimum. I've learned from past mistakes. For my last trip to Europe I packed as if I was going to the middle of nowhere for five months - I brought far too much clothing. So, this time I keep reminding myself that Europe is quite civilized and if I really do end up needing that extra shirt/skirt/jacket I can go buy one.

In other news, tomorrow is my Bon Voyage party. My gf decided to plan something for my classmates and friends. Next week is another one hosted by my parents. I'm not quite sure how I feel about these sort of events. I don't usually like saying good-bye. Recently though, it's become one of the most common phrases in my vocabulary.

I guess saying good-bye is not really so much a phrase as it is an action. To me it symbolizes a letting go of the past and looking on towards the future. But sometimes the future is unclear. Sometimes I can't see the outcome. I'm fearful of the unknown.
I'm not a philosopher, but I do like to think that I'm a junior theorist. And so, here is the first (and definitely not the last) theory I'm posting on my blog. I think one (there are many) of the reasons saying good-bye is so hard is that it is a verbal acknowledgement that "this" (whether it's a relationship or a conversation or whatever) is now over. And, with something ending there is the implication that something else is beginning...but I don't always know what it is. And that lack of knowledge, that uncertainty over what is going to happen next, is what makes saying good-bye so hard. I have to leave what I know, and what I'm familiar with, and in many cases who and what I've come to rely on, for something else. Something I don't know yet, something I'm not familiar with and someone and something I haven't relied on before.

I believe in God and more importantly in his son Jesus Christ. I could quote all the bible verses that talk about Him being with you wherever you go. But I'm still human. I still struggle with the unknown. I think I always will. I'd like to think I have all the answers and know how everything will turn out - but I don't. I could be wrong, but I think it's a daily struggle to be willing to say good-bye to a wonderful past without knowing what tomorrow brings. I think that's were trust comes in - trusting God to guide me as I look into the future.